My god, what a day.

I woke up from a phone call from my brother telling me about what happened. I turned on the TV and it was unbelievable. It couldn't strike me that what I was seeing was real. I saw the two holes in the buildings and I was thinking to myself how many people must have died. Probably in the hundreds. As I was thinking that to myself I saw the first building topple, then the second. It really hit me then. Thousands of people died today for no reason. This wasn't someone killing a political figure as a sort of message, this was cowards killing civilians.

At one point I laid in my bed listening to the radio. I entered a half daydream where I saw myself going to Westwood to donate blood. The red cross in Westwood is near some of the Federal Buildings and I saw myself near those federal buildings and I saw myself near them while they exploded.

But still I knew that the only thing I could do was to give blood. I knew it wouldn't get to the East Coast today but people will be needed surgery for days, and I had to do something. I was able to get three friends to come with me.

I thought a lot about my friend Jason who less then a year ago was shot and killed in Chicago. We used to be best friends growing up. I was thinking about how I felt when I learned he was murdered and how everyone who knew anyone who died today must be feeling. It's unfathomable. The loss that everyone suffered today is tragic. Things will never be the same again.

It just hit me that it's totally a realistic possibility that we can be nuked.

I felt guilty for going about my day. Writing a friend an e-mail while in New York people are jumping from buildings to their death. It feels wrong for me to be so comfortable and carefree today while people in New York and Washington are dying because the buildings that they work in happened to be the target of a terrorist attack.

People who were stuck on the 104th floor used their cell phones to say goodbye to their loved ones.

People are calling from their cell phones now from under the rubble.

How could someone do this thinking that this will help their cause?

This is just so unreal. I can't imagine how many people are dying in this footage I'm seeing.

I fear what the news will say when I wake up tomorrow.